Zen-like calm, bitch

Imagine you're attached to a 10 metre chain while Milla Jovovich dances naked exactly 11 metres away.
Imagine you've locked your keys in your car and the only option you can see is to destroy the entire car. And your driving license.
Imagine you've been granted the worlds most fierce wang and a sexual ability the government is forced to class as a Weapon of Mass Distraction, but you can only use this talent on the sex you're not attracted to.

Now you know a tenth of my frustration right now. Why the frustration? Geek things. Really boring, stupid geek things.
That. won't. fucking. work. damnit.

She's answered el-questions.

Currently listening to: The sound of a CD burning... I'm resorting to a Linux boot disc... *quiet sobbing*

"'The sound of one hand clapping'? Is that, like, Zen slang for masturbating?"


Edit 2: The chain breaks and Milla spends 5 hours alternatively being overtly religious and incredibly positive... at least, that's what it sounds like.
The car gone, you wait quietly while the Playboy Bunny of the Year drives your new Aston Martin DB8 to you.
You gain the ability to use your wang for the Good Of The Opposite sex and, in one night, impregnate the entire Northern Hemisphere.
That, my friends, is the taste of goddamn victory. It only took me 7 hours, but I broke the damn system.
My Kung Foo is strong, motherfucker.