I have the most gay looking haircut in the history of the hetrosexual man.
Seriously.
Somewhere, a very homosexual person, intensely at one with his homosexuality (which is cool), has suddenly opened his eyes from his zen-like pose and muttered, "There's a shift in the force... some hairdresser, somewhere, has made a horrible mistake."
It's like a thousand voices cried out and were suddenly silenced.

It's not that I have a problem with gay people/culture/fashion, it's that I simply don't like the wang.
The only wang I master is my own. Y'hear me Hairdresser! I'LL KILL YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

"Feeling scared today,
write down I am okay
one hundred times
the doctors say...
I am okay."
Electro Shock Blues - The Eels