God. Long day. Thanks for the sympathy kid. I don't know if I agree with your "They're not as happy as they say" view, considering these guys are pretty damn happy and rocksolid couples. Which, from me, is saying quite a lot.
I like the Jay and Silent Bob image.
I have Avril Lavigne - "Don't Tell Me" stuck in my head

For your amusement:

LAYER ONE:
Name: Dark
Birthplace: South African
Gender: Wang-based
Eye Color: weird brown with bits of... nevermind - brown
Hair Color: dark brown
Height: 6"4' (tall guy)
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Cancer

LAYER TWO:
Your heritage: erm - South African, with grandparents of English/Irish/German
The shoes you wore today: Sneakers - oldschool ones I keep drawing on. Currently with a cool smiley/flame effect.
Your fears: screwing up my degree
Your perfect meal: Lasagne with red wine and then mint choc chip ice cream
Goal you'd like to achieve: get some art done at some point

LAYER THREE:
Your thoughts first waking up: currently? "OhGODohGod, I'm gonna be late for my exam, what time is it? shit... 5am? I can sleep for a bit" - this is repeated every 10 minutes or so till about 8:am
Your best physical feature: dunno. Eyes?
Your bedtime: When the coffee wears off
Your most missed memory: playing in my backyard in South Africa

LAYER FOUR:
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: BK
Single or group dates: Single
Adidas or Nike: neither, really
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: um, home made?
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: Technically, cappuccino IS coffee...

LAYER FIVE:
Smoke: Only when on fire.
Cuss: Yes.
Sing: When I'm drunk. Or alone.
Take a shower: Yep. Every day.
Have a crush: It's not a crush. I swear.
Do you think you've been in love: I don't think so - hence No.
Want to go to college?: In "college" at the moment.
Liked high school?: Nope.
Want to get married: Nope.
Get motion sickness: Nope.
Think you're a health freak: I run all the time but I eat badly.
Get along with your parent(s): Ergh. Yeah?
Like thunderstorms? Yep.
Play an instrument: Used to play Viola.

LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
Drank alcohol: Yep.
Smoked: Nope
Done a drug: Caffeine
Had Sex: Nope
Made Out: ... *thinks* nope. Broke up about 5 weeks ago.
Gone on a date: Nope.
Gone to the mall?: England doesn't do "malls". And no.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: Sadly, england doesn't do Oreos either.
Eaten sushi: See above.
Been on stage: No.
Been dumped: Nope.
Made homemade cookies: No.
Gone skinny dipping: No.
Dyed your hair: no
Stolen anything: no. Wait. Housemates chocolate bar that was in the fridge. Bastard kicked a hole in our house. I take his chocolate. Me = Winner.

LAYER NINE:
In a guy/girl...
Best eye color?: Dunno.
Best hair color?: I like brunettes. But I'm also easy.
Short or long hair?: Don't mind really.
Height: Nothing I can't reach (as I'm quite tall hencing should be easily kissable).
Best weight: Don't know what girls weigh, in general.
Best articles of clothing: I like girls who wear sneakers.

LAYER TEN:
Number of drugs taken illegally: Zero.
Number of piercings: Uno. Left Ear. Upper bit.
Number of tattoos: Zero.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Pswah. No idea. Probobly a fair amount. Used to be in loads of School things and Orchestras and plays and theatre.
Number of scars on my body: Loads. Including a nice burn I rather treasure.
Number of things in my past that I regret: One or two. Mostly girl connected but hindsights a bitch.