I'm feeling pretty bad.
I got 4 hours sleep last night, nowhere with Emily bar liking her more and realising that, unless something happens soon I'm doomed to the Friend Zone forever - and worse, that I will continue to like her despite my resignation to the aforementioned zone. This zoning will also cause me to feel bitterness when around her and yet still agree to hang around with her practically every day and at her command.
Welcome to Hell - All Hail Satan and his evil, evil ways.
Throw in the fact that I can't sleep and my eye has been twitching for 2 hours now, semi-convincing me there is some form of large bug, either mating or dying or both, just behind my retina and you begin to see why I feel so bad. And finally.

My Gran is also in a hospital in South Africa with a collapsed lung. It looks as though she's going to die in the next 48 hours. She used to come to my orchestra rehearsals when I was about 10 every morning at 7:30am and listen to me play. I'd go to her house after school about once a week and we'd play scrabble. She said she didn't want to die before she saw me graduate.