Now you see readers, you'll be receiving both excessively long and incredibly over-extended metaphors/stories/absurdiums from now on as you've lurked into...The Student Zone (cue Twilight Zone soundtrack).

Yes, boyWonder, post pictures of your blondness. I myself would kick it Boyzone Style but sadly, I am left wanting hair-wise.
The garage explosion thingy was a Mechanics called Charters - no as local as it would sound. Sadly, I was no where near the scene of the fire and all that was endangered by the "furious blaze" was a few souped up Peugots and a Jaguar. While I feel for the Jag owner, the fact that a few BoyRacer wannabes are no doubt crying themselves to sleep does not concern me unduly.

Jenn alone would stop even my most wild drunk gyrations. She's like some kind of Gold Krypotonite - capable of permanently sapping the most Super of Powers, drunken or no. I can see it now - "Jenn X" (spot the pun there? "Jenn - Ex"?) - spawned from some kind of cocoon, constructed entirely of the flesh and dignity of previous boyfriends, she awaits for her next victim, a unsuspecting fool, to lean over it's slimy exterior before leaping forth and attaching herself to him.

I laughed at your "exploding nose" situation. I myself have suffered a few nosebleeds lately - it's the heat I think. My most awkward situation was a unnoticed bleed during a conversation with a friend in a club. He was listening but gazing fondly at various boobs (as is a guys right in a club) and so when he looked up at me after my 5 minutes of talking and unnoticed bleeding I looked like I'd been involved in some kind of Satanic Ritual, so blood drenched was I. He, keeping a cool head, immediately shouted "Holy shit!" and hence scared the crap outa me . I noticed the blood bath, explained and drank away my sorrows.

And sadly, while many, many girls have called me "The One" it's usually something along the lines of "The One who cheated on me" or "The One who nicked my underwear" or "The One who now can't come without 300 yards of me". Infamy is pretty cool though.