Man, I'm tired of the boy/girl thing. Even holding a conversation is becoming fucking hard. I could all explain-ey but I really can't be fucked. It'd be like a thousand other drunken explanations. I think I'll just give up on everything. Get my degree and go from there. That's the plan from now on - ignore girls. All of them. You want me? Fucking come make the effort since I'm tired of all this bullshit I apparently need to do. And even then - you got psychological problems/a boyfriend/ambitions about any relationship/any issues at all - just don't try. It's perfect or nothing.

I haven't broken this whole September bet yet - at least I'll get 100 quid out of that. And I sure as fuck could use it.

Edit: And my perfect girl? Watch Vanilla Sky - Penelope Cruz's character in that. Also, about 44 minutes in - the park scene - perfect summary of my love life.
"My dreams are a cruel joke..."